Kong Zi said, "When a student is at home, let him be filial, when abroad, respectful of his elders; let him be ircumspect and truthful and, while exhiiting a comprehensive love for all men, let him ally himself with the good. Having acted thusly, if he have energy to spare, let him undertake polite studies."
To me, this is all about position and propriety. Regardless of where I go, I have position and responsibilities. With my parents it is to be loving and caring. At work it is to be diligent and careful. With my wife, it is to be loving and stern.
Why must I observe the propriety so carefully? Because it leads to harmony. Taming the ego and accepting my position in the universe, this is truly a joy. As Kong Zi states, I can abide by the strict propriety out of love of all beings. Just as with Leila at home, if I fail to take up my position, her entire life will suffer. Though I am small in the cosmos, I am an integral part. It feels to me that there are no unimportant parts, so all this insecurity and worthlessness that I carry from my past and my youth is just bullshit that I need to throw away. Respect myself and I will naturally be calm. Further, from the statement, "when abroad...", I know that as I engage myself in daily activities, whether it is buying a coffee, or serving people at Eat, that I carry the Tao seal on my back, as well as that as my parents and ancestors heritage. Every thing I say must be in line with respect and filial piety. I cannot allow myself to bring them shame, and all my actions should be thusly weighed.
And just a reminder to maintain my trimutive goal for this Year of the Rabbit. Correct my concept with introspection, see how to apply all I have learned in daily life, and moderate distractions. Naturally I will be stable. This means that in my free time, I should maintain focus and undertake worthwhile pursuits. Not waste time. But me moderate. Just like with a GS set, its not quantity, but quality of focus. Stop.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Chapter 5.
Kong Zi said, "To conduct the government of a State of a thousand chariots there must be religious attention to business and good faith, economy in expenditure and love of the people, and their employment on public works at the proper seasons."
First let me say, doing this is both difficult and informative. I don't know if it is really helping me, but at least I am focused on Tao thinking and introspection. This, however, can also become my fixation. Over worried about my shortcomings, it is easy for my mind to stray far from a natural state. (notice how I stubbornly refuse to say "Tao state". it is my goal to carry and exemplify the principles of Tao without ever having to use the term or the word. to be, in a word, natural in all things.)
When I read this passage, the first thing I felt was that the translation is a little off. When I reread it, I thought of the Da Xue and the opening trimutive. Understand the bright virtue. Love all people. Know when to stop. Further, my aim in doing these introspections is not to acccumulate more knowledge or doctorines, or to simply practice another religion (something I must always be on guard for), but to truly apply these things to my daily life. If I can't see the nature in the small daily matters, there is very little hope for me to understand, as I like to quote, "the nature of the universe.
I remember something CY said to me about my own self being like a country. Something I could well govern (this goes ack to Da Xue class also). And I feel that this chapter can inform how I am managing my life and my time now. I work. I rest. My life, my country is made up almost entirely of being at home and being at Eat. Both are like small countries. In one I am the king, in the other, a trusted minister.
So, at home, it is really up to me to set the tone. AMW handles business and is frugal far far more than I am. I leak money like a bag of water shot with a bee bee gun. This is something I have to pay much more strict attention to. Its not that I can't go out to eat, or buy a chocolate bar (the whole chocolate bar thing seems like some kind of powerful dharma, perhaps dutch... ultimately chocolate was something brought back from the New World and abused by Europeans. the original natives drank it as a healing beverage, and the European invaders made it into another commodity, like tobacco and coffee), its just a matter of being VERY CAREFUL and righteous with money.
In terms of good faith, I think I can apply this most readily with JC at Eat. I am trusted with responsibilities. I am left alone to carry them out. All in all I have taken care of business. But sometimes its easy to let my spirit down and not care. This is the wrong (and slightly selfish) attitude. We don't have to be busy all the time, nor do I have to 'act like I'm working all the time", but it is a matter of giving an honest and humble effort. I feel like I have done much better in this regard, but improvement can be made. Not on the physical level, but in terms of focusing my heart and mind. Again I remind myself, I don't need to change things, just to fit myself in harmoniously to the systems that are laid out for me. Experience is knowing when to push and knowing when to back off. Its easy to lose humility. I have to guard against this. Stop here.
First let me say, doing this is both difficult and informative. I don't know if it is really helping me, but at least I am focused on Tao thinking and introspection. This, however, can also become my fixation. Over worried about my shortcomings, it is easy for my mind to stray far from a natural state. (notice how I stubbornly refuse to say "Tao state". it is my goal to carry and exemplify the principles of Tao without ever having to use the term or the word. to be, in a word, natural in all things.)
When I read this passage, the first thing I felt was that the translation is a little off. When I reread it, I thought of the Da Xue and the opening trimutive. Understand the bright virtue. Love all people. Know when to stop. Further, my aim in doing these introspections is not to acccumulate more knowledge or doctorines, or to simply practice another religion (something I must always be on guard for), but to truly apply these things to my daily life. If I can't see the nature in the small daily matters, there is very little hope for me to understand, as I like to quote, "the nature of the universe.
I remember something CY said to me about my own self being like a country. Something I could well govern (this goes ack to Da Xue class also). And I feel that this chapter can inform how I am managing my life and my time now. I work. I rest. My life, my country is made up almost entirely of being at home and being at Eat. Both are like small countries. In one I am the king, in the other, a trusted minister.
So, at home, it is really up to me to set the tone. AMW handles business and is frugal far far more than I am. I leak money like a bag of water shot with a bee bee gun. This is something I have to pay much more strict attention to. Its not that I can't go out to eat, or buy a chocolate bar (the whole chocolate bar thing seems like some kind of powerful dharma, perhaps dutch... ultimately chocolate was something brought back from the New World and abused by Europeans. the original natives drank it as a healing beverage, and the European invaders made it into another commodity, like tobacco and coffee), its just a matter of being VERY CAREFUL and righteous with money.
In terms of good faith, I think I can apply this most readily with JC at Eat. I am trusted with responsibilities. I am left alone to carry them out. All in all I have taken care of business. But sometimes its easy to let my spirit down and not care. This is the wrong (and slightly selfish) attitude. We don't have to be busy all the time, nor do I have to 'act like I'm working all the time", but it is a matter of giving an honest and humble effort. I feel like I have done much better in this regard, but improvement can be made. Not on the physical level, but in terms of focusing my heart and mind. Again I remind myself, I don't need to change things, just to fit myself in harmoniously to the systems that are laid out for me. Experience is knowing when to push and knowing when to back off. Its easy to lose humility. I have to guard against this. Stop here.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Chapter 4.
I know now that I have never achieved anything by thinking or trying. Much more inspired to WORK toward allowing my True Self to be in charge. In the lead.
Chapter 4.
The Sage Tseng said, "Every day I examine myself on three points... in planning for others have I failed in my conscientiousness? In interaction with friends have I been insincere? And, have I failed to practice what I have been taught?"
I have hesitated working on this chapter. It shames me because I have no excuse. I have been taught by the best. I have been taught the Natural way. Its all in there, stored in the memory banks of my computer brain. Now it is up to me to really start to put it into practice. It is not too late (it never really is)
At the same time, I don't want to start to beat myself up or be down on myself. One, that is never helpful. Two, it will simply set me back into the cycles of my Christian karma. No Right. No Wrong. If I am going to truly be a humble person, I have to accept that some lessons are going to be very difficult and shameful. Just like some sets are so hard. But I can keep going. Yes, the bells may get put down for now. But I will watch the 'tape' and come back with a better approach.
Anyway, these three sayings give me a lot of food for thought and opportunity to introspect. I have several people that are very good mirrors for me that I deal with on a daily basis. They form the core of my family. Amanda. Seth. Jordan. These are the people that I can constantly check for insincerity in my words and deeds. Further, looking back to an earlier chapter, am I really respecting the propriety and the order. Its not above and below Michael. Its just position and Nature. And second, I have customers every day for whom I do ALOT of preparation. Yes they are poisoned. Yes they have dharma. Yes they are annoying and insincere and greedy and manipulative and self centered and asses of the first degree. None of that should matter. I am supposed to be on the path of Saint King Wen. No excuses. What did ML say to me on day 1 back? Lead with benevolence. Remember Hui-Neng's sutra. When all I see is my own shortcomings, then that will really be something. Check myself on these three items three times a day. Let's see where that gets me. PUT ALL THIS LEARNING INTO PRACTICE!!!!!!!!! Stop here.
Chapter 4.
The Sage Tseng said, "Every day I examine myself on three points... in planning for others have I failed in my conscientiousness? In interaction with friends have I been insincere? And, have I failed to practice what I have been taught?"
I have hesitated working on this chapter. It shames me because I have no excuse. I have been taught by the best. I have been taught the Natural way. Its all in there, stored in the memory banks of my computer brain. Now it is up to me to really start to put it into practice. It is not too late (it never really is)
At the same time, I don't want to start to beat myself up or be down on myself. One, that is never helpful. Two, it will simply set me back into the cycles of my Christian karma. No Right. No Wrong. If I am going to truly be a humble person, I have to accept that some lessons are going to be very difficult and shameful. Just like some sets are so hard. But I can keep going. Yes, the bells may get put down for now. But I will watch the 'tape' and come back with a better approach.
Anyway, these three sayings give me a lot of food for thought and opportunity to introspect. I have several people that are very good mirrors for me that I deal with on a daily basis. They form the core of my family. Amanda. Seth. Jordan. These are the people that I can constantly check for insincerity in my words and deeds. Further, looking back to an earlier chapter, am I really respecting the propriety and the order. Its not above and below Michael. Its just position and Nature. And second, I have customers every day for whom I do ALOT of preparation. Yes they are poisoned. Yes they have dharma. Yes they are annoying and insincere and greedy and manipulative and self centered and asses of the first degree. None of that should matter. I am supposed to be on the path of Saint King Wen. No excuses. What did ML say to me on day 1 back? Lead with benevolence. Remember Hui-Neng's sutra. When all I see is my own shortcomings, then that will really be something. Check myself on these three items three times a day. Let's see where that gets me. PUT ALL THIS LEARNING INTO PRACTICE!!!!!!!!! Stop here.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Chapter 3.
Kong Zi said, "Artful speech and an ingratiating demeanor rarely accompany virtue."
First of all, I want to skip over this chapter. I glance at it and feel it is far too simple. The Truth of course, is that I am the world's greatest car salesman. I speak artfully and can be the world's biggest brown nose. The flip side of that is if I an tone it down, say at Eat or with my seniors whom I respect (KB & EC), I can actually have loyalty and propriety.
I saw some good signs of progress last night when, while making noodles, I was successfully able to RESTRAIN myself from speaking. I don't remember exactly what I wanted to say, but watching Alain try to really overcompensate this week, I recognized this shortcoming in myself. People tolerate it in me and him because we are sincere. But at that moment, I felt like I grew up a little. Seems like a wise person should be able to decide when he speaks and what comes out of his mouth. I have failed a few other times (telling Jordan about the garlic lack in the soup) but at least I feel I am on the right road again.
Again I remind myself of the person that I want to be. What a man needs. Solid. Quiet. Strong. Stable. I don't need to push myself this year. Simply set quiet PR's in all aspects of my life. Do the right thing, be calm in my heart and trust Heaven. I'm not in charge, and scrambling for advantage or trying to manipulate to maintain position only make me look bad. Humble, humble, humble. Gotta have the faith to continue twelve dollars a day. (That reminds me to appreciate and respect the shmoo even more. She is an excellent pair for me.) Stop here.
First of all, I want to skip over this chapter. I glance at it and feel it is far too simple. The Truth of course, is that I am the world's greatest car salesman. I speak artfully and can be the world's biggest brown nose. The flip side of that is if I an tone it down, say at Eat or with my seniors whom I respect (KB & EC), I can actually have loyalty and propriety.
I saw some good signs of progress last night when, while making noodles, I was successfully able to RESTRAIN myself from speaking. I don't remember exactly what I wanted to say, but watching Alain try to really overcompensate this week, I recognized this shortcoming in myself. People tolerate it in me and him because we are sincere. But at that moment, I felt like I grew up a little. Seems like a wise person should be able to decide when he speaks and what comes out of his mouth. I have failed a few other times (telling Jordan about the garlic lack in the soup) but at least I feel I am on the right road again.
Again I remind myself of the person that I want to be. What a man needs. Solid. Quiet. Strong. Stable. I don't need to push myself this year. Simply set quiet PR's in all aspects of my life. Do the right thing, be calm in my heart and trust Heaven. I'm not in charge, and scrambling for advantage or trying to manipulate to maintain position only make me look bad. Humble, humble, humble. Gotta have the faith to continue twelve dollars a day. (That reminds me to appreciate and respect the shmoo even more. She is an excellent pair for me.) Stop here.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Book 1. Chapter 2.
The Sage Yu said, "He who lives a filialy pious life, respecting his elders, and who is wanton to give offense to those above him is rare; and there has never been one respectful of his elders to has been fond of creating disorder. The True Sage devotes himself to the fundamentals, for when those have een established right courses naturally evolve, and are not filial devotion and respet for elders the very foundations of an unselfish life?"
Interesting. First off, I had no intention to write anything tonight. Just felt a little birdie speaking quietly in my ear. Funny thing too, shortly before sitting to type this, I straightened my bed and sat upright at the computer.
Today was a breakthrough day in fact. I am just starting to recognize it. Why you may ask? Today I found my position. Above and below both exist. It is not simply that I am at the bottom of the pile forevermore. And funnier still, my first impression of the passage above is its all about the order. If one is respectful of those above him, and those that came before, how can he love anything except propriety? That is what they are talking about.
In my time cultivating Tao, I can say that I have had a very hard time staying in my position. Now, as I start to counsel Alain, I see so much more about the story. In my observation, the story is about the family. I mean, look at Jordan. Everyone has shortcomings. But those who grew up in a relatively balanced and harmonious household naturally understand the propriety. In the family, everyone has their place. The bigger the family, the less room there is for everyone's ego. It's really kind of beautiful.
Of course, this is not how I grew up. I grew up being self-centered and manipulative as this is what I learned from my mother. There was no family, there was just a group of individuals fighting for their desires and then my little sister suffering through all of it. Yes apparently I am still angry about it.
Fine, what does this mean to me now? I DO LOVE THE ORDER. Perhaps it is my military background and mindset, but I love the idea and concept of everyone having a position and responsibilities associated with that position. My problem right now is that I lack the confidence to carry mine out. Even tonight, reprimanding Alain and taking my "Colonel's" position. I didn't want to do it. I was afraid to do it. Afraid he would fight back, afraid of his qi backlash and afraid that he wouldn't like me anymore. To that I say BULLSHIT. I respect EC and he calls me out all the time. What I have to understand is that IT IS NOT PERSONAL. The family has to have order. We are a family at Eat, just as we are a family in Tao and the entire universe is just a family of wayward beings.
Let me repeat, I have to have the confidence to carry out my position. That's what happened at Tien, I lost my confidence in myself, and of course they never had any in me anyway. (All this is me dancing around the bush so to speak) If I wasn't supposed to help guide Alain, would Heaven really have allowed him to follow me? Would I really have gone through so many of the experiences that he is going through now. WOULD I STILL BE HERE??? Drawing inspiration from The Analects and feeling deep love in my heart for the Propriety? I do not believe so (still hard just to write "no")
I have heard so many times, in so many admonishments that Heaven does not make mistakes, well I guess that would have to include me. I mean how easy is it for me to look at my mother and realize she is great and capable of great things, yet, she cannot see it at all? Alright, so 2011 is going to be the year of Stability & Confidence. Be patient with it. Confidence comes from failing outright at something thousands of times until you finally figure it out. One thing I do have is tenacity. I need to rely on that more. Stp.
Interesting. First off, I had no intention to write anything tonight. Just felt a little birdie speaking quietly in my ear. Funny thing too, shortly before sitting to type this, I straightened my bed and sat upright at the computer.
Today was a breakthrough day in fact. I am just starting to recognize it. Why you may ask? Today I found my position. Above and below both exist. It is not simply that I am at the bottom of the pile forevermore. And funnier still, my first impression of the passage above is its all about the order. If one is respectful of those above him, and those that came before, how can he love anything except propriety? That is what they are talking about.
In my time cultivating Tao, I can say that I have had a very hard time staying in my position. Now, as I start to counsel Alain, I see so much more about the story. In my observation, the story is about the family. I mean, look at Jordan. Everyone has shortcomings. But those who grew up in a relatively balanced and harmonious household naturally understand the propriety. In the family, everyone has their place. The bigger the family, the less room there is for everyone's ego. It's really kind of beautiful.
Of course, this is not how I grew up. I grew up being self-centered and manipulative as this is what I learned from my mother. There was no family, there was just a group of individuals fighting for their desires and then my little sister suffering through all of it. Yes apparently I am still angry about it.
Fine, what does this mean to me now? I DO LOVE THE ORDER. Perhaps it is my military background and mindset, but I love the idea and concept of everyone having a position and responsibilities associated with that position. My problem right now is that I lack the confidence to carry mine out. Even tonight, reprimanding Alain and taking my "Colonel's" position. I didn't want to do it. I was afraid to do it. Afraid he would fight back, afraid of his qi backlash and afraid that he wouldn't like me anymore. To that I say BULLSHIT. I respect EC and he calls me out all the time. What I have to understand is that IT IS NOT PERSONAL. The family has to have order. We are a family at Eat, just as we are a family in Tao and the entire universe is just a family of wayward beings.
Let me repeat, I have to have the confidence to carry out my position. That's what happened at Tien, I lost my confidence in myself, and of course they never had any in me anyway. (All this is me dancing around the bush so to speak) If I wasn't supposed to help guide Alain, would Heaven really have allowed him to follow me? Would I really have gone through so many of the experiences that he is going through now. WOULD I STILL BE HERE??? Drawing inspiration from The Analects and feeling deep love in my heart for the Propriety? I do not believe so (still hard just to write "no")
I have heard so many times, in so many admonishments that Heaven does not make mistakes, well I guess that would have to include me. I mean how easy is it for me to look at my mother and realize she is great and capable of great things, yet, she cannot see it at all? Alright, so 2011 is going to be the year of Stability & Confidence. Be patient with it. Confidence comes from failing outright at something thousands of times until you finally figure it out. One thing I do have is tenacity. I need to rely on that more. Stp.
Monday, January 10, 2011
2011. The Year of Stability.
Okay so I plan to take some initiative. Inspiration comes to those who search for it. Perhaps I try to hard, so low key is the key. My plan is to, perhaps every 3 to 5 days, take a passage from The Analects and introspect on it. Check my shortcoming. Check my virtue. Check my inspiration. Check.
First Volume. Concerning Fundamental Principles.
Kong Zi said, "Is it not indeed a pleasure to acquire knowledge and constantly to exercise oneself therein? And is it not delightful to have men of kindred spirit come to one from afar? But is not he a true philosopher who, though he be unrecognized of men, cherishes no resentment?
The first thing that strikes me is why is this teaching first. The very problem I encounter on a daily basis is forgetting what I just learned (stupid Christian karma). What good is all my gong-fu if I can't keep my mind straight.
To work on this issue, I will try to keep my goals and my mind simpler. Shooting for the stars its easy to miss. Aiming for steady progress (e.g. my Long Cycle practice) I can add to my understanding and my virtue.
Secondly. My True Self warns me right off the bat not to get caught up in false Confucianism. Very easy to get frustrated with my 'lack of progress' and turn back to dharma. Easy to memorize the entire Analects to impress EC, but in no way does that make me a true cultivator. Reminder: everything of value takes place inside me. Inspiration is great. But I better filter it USING THE PROPER EQUATION!
Thirdly. I have to say I'm pretty lonely Lonely for cultivators of my mindset. Jordan helps, so does Alain. Its important for me to remember to treasure these brotherly relationships and behave accordingly. Position, position, position. Another warning to myself against becoming competitive. REMEMBER THE LONG CYCLE TRAINING! My only goal is to be better than I was yesterday. And for me and my greedy heart, that can often mean just being stable. Reliable. This can come in many many forms. Just sitting often to REALLY take a clear look is gonna add to my integrity. Positives! GS is the example. If I add one rep a day, by the end of the year I have come very far.
Lastly. I worry so much about what other people think of me. How I am perceived and judged. Especially EC, as he represents power in my mind. THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT. I have to tune into my True Self alot more. Find myself. Trust myself. This doesn't mean not be humble. It is QUIET CONFIDENCE. Be open to criticism and correction and learning, just always filter it appropriately. This is between me and my conscience. What seems to be on the outside is just that, THE OUTSIDE. Stop here.
First Volume. Concerning Fundamental Principles.
Kong Zi said, "Is it not indeed a pleasure to acquire knowledge and constantly to exercise oneself therein? And is it not delightful to have men of kindred spirit come to one from afar? But is not he a true philosopher who, though he be unrecognized of men, cherishes no resentment?
The first thing that strikes me is why is this teaching first. The very problem I encounter on a daily basis is forgetting what I just learned (stupid Christian karma). What good is all my gong-fu if I can't keep my mind straight.
To work on this issue, I will try to keep my goals and my mind simpler. Shooting for the stars its easy to miss. Aiming for steady progress (e.g. my Long Cycle practice) I can add to my understanding and my virtue.
Secondly. My True Self warns me right off the bat not to get caught up in false Confucianism. Very easy to get frustrated with my 'lack of progress' and turn back to dharma. Easy to memorize the entire Analects to impress EC, but in no way does that make me a true cultivator. Reminder: everything of value takes place inside me. Inspiration is great. But I better filter it USING THE PROPER EQUATION!
Thirdly. I have to say I'm pretty lonely Lonely for cultivators of my mindset. Jordan helps, so does Alain. Its important for me to remember to treasure these brotherly relationships and behave accordingly. Position, position, position. Another warning to myself against becoming competitive. REMEMBER THE LONG CYCLE TRAINING! My only goal is to be better than I was yesterday. And for me and my greedy heart, that can often mean just being stable. Reliable. This can come in many many forms. Just sitting often to REALLY take a clear look is gonna add to my integrity. Positives! GS is the example. If I add one rep a day, by the end of the year I have come very far.
Lastly. I worry so much about what other people think of me. How I am perceived and judged. Especially EC, as he represents power in my mind. THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT. I have to tune into my True Self alot more. Find myself. Trust myself. This doesn't mean not be humble. It is QUIET CONFIDENCE. Be open to criticism and correction and learning, just always filter it appropriately. This is between me and my conscience. What seems to be on the outside is just that, THE OUTSIDE. Stop here.
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