Chapter 5.

Kong Zi said, "To conduct the government of a State of a thousand chariots there must be religious attention to business and good faith, economy in expenditure and love of the people, and their employment on public works at the proper seasons."

First let me say, doing this is both difficult and informative.  I don't know if it is really helping me, but at least I am focused on Tao thinking and introspection.  This, however, can also become my fixation.  Over worried about my shortcomings, it is easy for my mind to stray far from a natural state. (notice how I stubbornly refuse to say "Tao state".  it is my goal to carry and exemplify the principles of Tao without ever having to use the term or the word.  to be, in a word, natural in all things.)

When I read this passage, the first thing I felt was that the translation is a little off.  When I reread it, I thought of the Da Xue and the opening trimutive.  Understand the bright virtue.  Love all people.  Know when to stop.  Further, my aim in doing these introspections is not to acccumulate more knowledge or doctorines, or to simply practice another religion (something I must always be on guard for), but to truly apply these things to my daily life.  If I can't see the nature in the small daily matters, there is very little hope for me to understand, as I like to quote, "the nature of the universe.

I remember something CY said to me about my own self being like a country.  Something I could well govern (this goes ack to Da Xue class also).  And I feel that this chapter can inform how I am managing my life and my time now.  I work.  I rest. My life, my country is made up almost entirely of being at home and being at Eat.  Both are like small countries.  In one I am the king, in the other, a trusted minister. 

So, at home, it is really up to me to set the tone.  AMW handles business and is frugal far far more than I am.  I leak money like a bag of water shot with a bee bee gun.  This is something I have to pay much more strict attention to.  Its not that I can't go out to eat, or buy a chocolate bar (the whole chocolate bar thing seems like some kind of powerful dharma, perhaps dutch... ultimately chocolate was something brought back from the New World and abused by Europeans.  the original natives drank it as a healing beverage, and the European invaders made it into another commodity, like tobacco and coffee), its just a matter of being VERY CAREFUL and righteous with money. 

In terms of good faith, I think I can apply this most readily with JC at Eat.  I am trusted with responsibilities.  I am left alone to carry them out.  All in all I have taken care of business.  But sometimes its easy to let my spirit down and not care.  This is the wrong (and slightly selfish) attitude.  We don't have to be busy all the time, nor do I have to 'act like I'm working all the time", but it is a matter of giving an honest and humble effort.  I feel like I have done much better in this regard, but improvement can be made.  Not on the physical level, but in terms of focusing my heart and mind.  Again I remind myself, I don't need to change things, just to fit myself in harmoniously to the systems that are laid out for me.  Experience is knowing when to push and knowing when to back off.  Its easy to lose humility.  I have to guard against this.  Stop here.