2011. The Year of Stability.

Okay so I plan to take some initiative.  Inspiration comes to those who search for it.  Perhaps I try to hard, so low key is the key.  My plan is to, perhaps every 3 to 5 days, take a passage from The Analects and introspect on it.  Check my shortcoming.  Check my virtue.  Check my inspiration.  Check.

First Volume.  Concerning Fundamental Principles.

Kong Zi said, "Is it not indeed a pleasure to acquire knowledge and constantly to exercise oneself therein?  And is it not delightful to have men of kindred spirit come to one from afar?  But is not he a true philosopher who, though he be unrecognized of men, cherishes no resentment?

The first thing that strikes me is why is this teaching first.  The very problem I encounter on a daily basis is forgetting what I just learned (stupid Christian karma).  What good is all my gong-fu if I can't keep my mind straight. 

To work on this issue, I will try to keep my goals and my mind simpler.  Shooting for the stars its easy to miss.  Aiming for steady progress (e.g. my Long Cycle practice) I can add to my understanding and my virtue.

Secondly. My True Self warns me right off the bat not to get caught up in false Confucianism.  Very easy to get frustrated with my 'lack of progress' and turn back to dharma.  Easy to memorize the entire Analects to impress EC, but in no way does that make me a true cultivator.  Reminder: everything of value takes place inside me.  Inspiration is great.  But I better filter it USING THE PROPER EQUATION!

Thirdly.  I have to say I'm pretty lonely Lonely for cultivators of my mindset.  Jordan helps, so does Alain.  Its important for me to remember to treasure these brotherly relationships and behave accordingly.  Position, position, position.  Another warning to myself against becoming competitive.  REMEMBER THE LONG CYCLE TRAINING!  My only goal is to be better than I was yesterday.  And for me and my greedy heart, that can often mean just being stable.  Reliable.  This can come in many many forms.  Just sitting often to REALLY take a clear look is gonna add to my integrity.  Positives! GS is the example.  If I add one rep a day, by the end of the year I have come very far.

Lastly.  I worry so much about what other people think of me.  How I am perceived and judged.  Especially EC, as he represents power in my mind.  THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT.  I have to tune into my True Self alot more.  Find myself.  Trust myself.  This doesn't mean not be humble.  It is QUIET CONFIDENCE.  Be open to criticism and correction and learning, just always filter it appropriately.   This is between me and my conscience.  What seems to be on the outside is just that, THE OUTSIDE.  Stop here.